Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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