i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
this hospital has no fireball
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
