just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
