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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell

  (720): View more from Colorado

  That's the classiest thing you've ever said.

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• (253): View more from Washington

  My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"

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  19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this

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• (315): View more from New York

  we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.

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• (334): View more from Alabama

  He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.

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  25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons

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• (210): View more from Texas

  You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks

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