Texts From Last Night

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  (636): View more from Missouri

  Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.

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  (636): Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know. http://tfl.nu/4r5f
  Replies (37) Good night (2941) Bad night (649)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.

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  (302): She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god. http://tfl.nu/566r
  Replies (25) Good night (5060) Bad night (565)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.

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  (239): At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit. http://tfl.nu/fc4g
  Replies (35) Good night (9158) Bad night (732)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.

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  (647): im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old. http://tfl.nu/1v3o
  Replies (20) Good night (692) Bad night (2970)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  We're doing a case race on Saturday.

  (302): View more from Delaware

  I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"

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  (301): We're doing a case race on Saturday. (302): I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism" http://tfl.nu/1jnr
  Replies (5) Good night (4027) Bad night (912)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut

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  (239): all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut http://tfl.nu/x9ek
  Replies (14) Good night (3733) Bad night (1038)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.

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  (515): The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle. http://tfl.nu/73sv
  Replies (4) Good night (737) Bad night (2199)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i think he saw me take a picture of his dick

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  (508): i think he saw me take a picture of his dick http://tfl.nu/2fdf
  Replies (6) Good night (2542) Bad night (828)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.

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  (410): Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style. http://tfl.nu/gn5p
  Replies (9) Good night (3608) Bad night (1157)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka

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  (404): Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka http://tfl.nu/m383
  Replies (5) Good night (971) Bad night (855)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.

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  (314): Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back. http://tfl.nu/xqdn
  Replies (4) Good night (1210) Bad night (406)
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  (619): View more from California

  Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich

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  (619): Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich http://tfl.nu/84vp
  Replies (5) Good night (842) Bad night (366)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Why am I wearing a dog collar

  (1-336): View more from North Carolina

  Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.

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  (336): Why am I wearing a dog collar (1-336): Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic. http://tfl.nu/ep7j
  Replies (4) Good night (1168) Bad night (404)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.

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  (306): There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it. http://tfl.nu/dil5
  Replies (0) Good night (464) Bad night (265)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.

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  (231): He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off. http://tfl.nu/bbw4
  Replies (4) Good night (824) Bad night (254)

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