Texts From Last Night

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  (510): View more from California

  turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks

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  (510): turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks http://tfl.nu/ww87
  Replies (26) Good night (4122) Bad night (800)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.

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  (773): If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time. http://tfl.nu/xdpc
  Replies (14) Good night (4879) Bad night (774)
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  (714): View more from California

  We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now

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  (714): We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now http://tfl.nu/h0c8
  Replies (9) Good night (3339) Bad night (830)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  So I fucked that hot french guy last night

  (228): View more from Mississippi

  You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.

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  (662): So I fucked that hot french guy last night (228): You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up. http://tfl.nu/pgt2
  Replies (18) Good night (995) Bad night (4529)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.

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  (847): 2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck. http://tfl.nu/qowh
  Replies (8) Good night (6868) Bad night (834)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree

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  (617): I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree http://tfl.nu/6ra8
  Replies (23) Good night (6159) Bad night (1042)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.

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  (+44): So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors. http://tfl.nu/2asp
  Replies (32) Good night (3335) Bad night (1074)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch

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  (480): I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch http://tfl.nu/8f48
  Replies (12) Good night (4340) Bad night (797)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?

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  (512): The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"? http://tfl.nu/3j2r
  Replies (32) Good night (17270) Bad night (1392)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  "The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"

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  (215): "The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match" http://tfl.nu/jczj
  Replies (11) Good night (1945) Bad night (1061)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.

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  (719): hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year. http://tfl.nu/9tpx
  Replies (3) Good night (1373) Bad night (565)
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  (650): View more from California

  I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.

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  (650): I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever. http://tfl.nu/x84m
  Replies (15) Good night (2574) Bad night (625)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.

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  (817): Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light. http://tfl.nu/nfnq
  Replies (5) Good night (471) Bad night (956)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.

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  (614): If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night. http://tfl.nu/mvnj
  Replies (2) Good night (834) Bad night (298)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.

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  (303): My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief. http://tfl.nu/edfe
  Replies (3) Good night (1001) Bad night (376)

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