Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time

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  (650): Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time http://tfl.nu/rwso
  Replies (3) Good night (1393) Bad night (485)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.

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  (678): Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house. http://tfl.nu/flvn
  Replies (7) Good night (3293) Bad night (663)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  i have one question about last night

  (646): View more from New York

  if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain

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  (516): i have one question about last night (646): if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain http://tfl.nu/69sr
  Replies (4) Good night (4303) Bad night (882)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.

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  (901): My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary. http://tfl.nu/r2s3
  Replies (9) Good night (5204) Bad night (928)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Gong!

  (1-253): View more from Washington

  YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT

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  (206): Gong! (1-253): YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT http://tfl.nu/dcri
  Replies (17) Good night (4367) Bad night (708)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.

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  (701): Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more. http://tfl.nu/i6gm
  Replies (7) Good night (1294) Bad night (554)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  $200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.

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  (724): $200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm. http://tfl.nu/59s4
  Replies (9) Good night (1694) Bad night (461)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.

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  (678): Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it! (770): Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you. http://tfl.nu/kg3y
  Replies (10) Good night (1850) Bad night (457)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer

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  (770): possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer http://tfl.nu/bt81
  Replies (0) Good night (341) Bad night (481)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.

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  (724): It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over. http://tfl.nu/5f4b
  Replies (3) Good night (628) Bad night (419)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do

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  (508): Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do http://tfl.nu/ic6g
  Replies (2) Good night (674) Bad night (331)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?

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  (814): If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right? http://tfl.nu/wp41
  Replies (3) Good night (451) Bad night (360)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?

  (208): View more from Idaho

  You need southern Jesus

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  (360): Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up? (208): You need southern Jesus http://tfl.nu/52rp
  Replies (3) Good night (880) Bad night (328)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators

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  (303): This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators http://tfl.nu/uz36
  Replies (3) Good night (280) Bad night (696)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal

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  (617): This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal http://tfl.nu/045y
  Replies (1) Good night (669) Bad night (205)

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