The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
