there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
