you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
The struggles of a small town man whore
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
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