just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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