Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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