Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
