Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
