Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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