I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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