No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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