Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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