Your tits are I can't wait for
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
