Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
