I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I have aggressive nipples.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
