I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
