His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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