Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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