My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Randomize
