Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
