That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
