OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
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