White coat. Heels.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
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Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
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I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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