One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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