My cat gives me a boner
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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