i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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