some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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