i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I did not marry a roomba.
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