I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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