you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize