Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
