so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
