I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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