What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
