How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
