If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize