Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
