i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
