I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
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Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
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you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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