Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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