those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
