Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
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