Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
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