The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
