break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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