Pappa wants mamma naked
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
