I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
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Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
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