She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
