i permit you to call me
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
