Pappa wants mamma naked
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
