We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
