so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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