dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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