Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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