Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
