It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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