im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
We got so high we made milksteak
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
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