Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
