I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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