he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
