who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
