wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
This is the high leading the old right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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