who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
